surreal estate

uhuhlalala — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 11:03:47 +0000

long time no see.
since berlin and italy with sergio (which was great) quite a few things have changed…
s. is not my friend anymore, after inviting himself to stay in my tiny room for a month without paying and preaching me on my financial situation… i moved out too.
i was working in a great branch of my restaurant, then matt for some reason stopped talking to me and sent me back to pasons green which is utter shit. im really hoping to get into another branch… or change a job.
i think i also have a bf now.. a polish little boy called adam. we’ll see how it goes. we went on holiday together for 10days and it was brilliant. now he’s away for 2weeks and not contacting me very often… so i dont know i dont know. im on a diet. im broke. and i stopped drinking for a while.
otherwise all is good, al is the same…
and my parents are coming on the 22nd of september…. challenging!

uhuhlalala — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 11:26:52 +0000

Being at home is not too bad this time. Of course we had a minor religion-related quarrel, but apart from that everything is relatively nice. Hopefully this won’t change within next 3-4 days before I go to Berlin. Can’t wait to go, to see my dear S. and the city I live rather close to, but have never visited. I’ve always been lazy. Always finding excuses for not doing things even though those excuses were very lame. I’ve just always been scared of things. And of my parents. Mostly.
Even now, when I’m almost 24yo, they think/want to think wherever I go I go with girls, I don’t drink too much, don’t smoke and never go back home alone, never too late at night. I have to give them the address or phone number.. I have to call or txt every day and report if I’m still alive. Sensible, yes, but how annoying!

uhuhlalala — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 19:31:34 +0000

no sex. no nick. no kebab.
fever and sore throat instead. and kebab has been ignoring me since… oh, i dont even remember. maybe not ignoring, but not talking to me. och whatever, i dont care.

cant wait to go to berlin! and for Vinitaly. ach, so much fun :)

uhuhlalala — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 13:35:20 +0000

nick is a prick.
all of a sudden, after 2month since we made out at that party he started talking to me last nite. talking very dirty. for about 2-3 hours. told me what he would do to me, how he wanted to fuck me, how hard he was and all that… and i kept it going. was quite interesting experience. i wouldn’t think he was a guy capable of such things… especially with someone you know. well, kind of. we have a few mutual friends after all. there was even a skype video at some point. i couldn’t see much, but whatever i’ve seen was conclusive enough.
and yes, id like to do it. he’s a pretty boy. but he’s a prick. i don’t trust him. apparently we have appointment for sunday, tomorrow. no matter how much i want it i’m not gonna do it. i’m not a slut. i’m not a call girl.
if i go anywhere tomorrow it will be kebab..

uhuhlalala — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 09:44:17 +0000

oh well. so im not fascinated with my gad friends anymore. still love them, but dont feel upset they’re gay. haha. that was a really short episode filled with other emotional imbalances of bigger and smaller kind.
now im back. done with all my exams and essays and im rather happy about my grades. except one… and i still dont understand why. but luckily this one shouldnt be take into account for my final grade.. they take only 2 best! good.

ive been up to everything and nothing in the meantime…. italy, london. few romances, random intercourses, millions of new people, no new real friends. new job that came to me itself. full of polish people and supermegapolishness, which i dont like much. i mean… job is ok, polishness not.
and i cant speak english anymore.. my accent is fluctuating from american (at best) to russian/turkish/no-accent (at worse times) and im getting well frustrated… need a british friend. asap.

uhuhlalala — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:46:41 +0000

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/lxGAGcpcdCk/

uhuhlalala — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:27:08 +0000

2 hrs of sleep in 2 days isnt really all that much.
i keep spilling coffee barely able to hold the mug.
still spending 80% of my ‘work’ time looking at his pics. and the other one as well.
damn you pretty gay people. i wanna eat you.

uhuhlalala — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 12:03:42 +0000

ok, i love gay boys.
thanks to them ive been 2ce rescued from hoplessness… even tho it wasnt any sort of ‘whatswrong’ talk,somehow helped.

but i still hate them for being so pretty and being gay…

ps. http://www.guyswithiphones.com/

insomnia

uhuhlalala — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:19:36 +0000

uhuhlalala — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:06:17 +0000

od 13 dni nie mogę spać.
od 3 dni śni mi się, że ktoś umiera.
dziś była to aga d., tavi i moja mama. wczoraj też mama.
nie wiem co jest. boję się. nie chcę, żeby to były sny prorocze.
nie mogę się uczyć. spędzam dnie bezmyślnie gapiąc się w książki i notatki. nie zapamiętuję nic. nie robię nic.
czuję się pusta w środku. w głowie zwłaszcza. NIC nie dzieje się w moich myślach. ani smutno, ani wesoło. NIC.
i jeszcze te eseje i egzaminy.
nieciekawie.

i zjadłam dziś dużo, dużo twixów. i nic więcej.